I guess I act my age...pretty much

Take the test for yourself!

You Are 30 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Back Home Again in Indiana

So, the wedding in Texas was pretty cool. Always good to catch up with old friends. We're all getting older, and the conversations have definitely changed. It used to be "hey, did you see that new movie?", or "I'm totally failing p-chem right now". Now, it's more like "how's your son's potty training coming?" and "we're thinking about refinancing our mortgage". In a way, I long for the good ol' days, but at the same time I'm starting to really appreciate the integrity and stregth of my group of friends. Truth to tell, we all have far less in common now than when we were in college. Yet, we still find ways to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. It's a nice blend of nostalgia and current life issues.

So, now I'm back home again in Indiana (pun cetainly intended), trying to convince myself that I'm actually a blogger. I've had a lot on my mind recently, but I haven't been using my blog very well to write out my thoughts. It's hard to teach an old sc1entist new tricks - hey, I'll be 30 in September, that's old enough for me!

Most recently, I've been at the bottom of my job morale cycle. I've worked the same job for 5 1/2 years, and in the same field for more than 7. Every year or so, I get fed up with my work situation and decide that I want to break out and do something different. In past years, this has meant changing departments, applying fo a promotion, or taking a class to enrich my life. This time, the feelings of dissatisfaction have been much stronger. I'm surrounded by science all day, and I spend most days feeling like what I do matters not one bit. I work to please my boss and my project managers, but not because I have some kind of innate love of science. I find myself slipping into this sort of numb dream-world at work sometimes. Everyone else is working fervently with furrowed brows, yelling about deadlines and having serious conversations at lunch about calibration curve linearity and mobile phase acid concentration. And I'm just floating along in a melancholy daze, not really giving a damn about the work that I'm doing. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not the kind of person who does a halfway job on things - if I'm assigned a project, I'm going to give it 100%. But, I think that if I felt like what I was doing was really making a difference in life, I might give it 150%. Maybe more.

In the movie Office Space, Peter makes this statement: "Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do if we had a million dollars and didn't have to work. And invariably, whatever we would say, that was supposed to be our careers. If you wanted to build cars, then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic....I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech." I guess I never really had an answer to that question either, which is probably why I'm doing what I'm doing for a living. But, I think it's time for me to find an answer.

The Garzanne Wedding Approaches!

Well, it's only a week until the biggest wedding weekend of the summer. Rachel's cousin Laurie is getting married on June 17, and Ethan is the ring bearer. Alas, I will not be attending though, because I'll be in Texas to celebrate the wedding of two of my friends from high school, Mike Garza and Susanne Davis, affectionately referred to as "Garzanne". Actually, I guess I didn't really know Susanne in high school, but I graduated with her brother, Jonathan, who is one of my dearest friends from both high school and college. So, I fly out on Wednesday, which will give me an opportunity to visit everyone for a couple of days. I really wish Rachel could come with me - it's going to be a bit lonely without her. But, it'll also be good to see all the old friends. Life has rolled on for all of us, but we've managed to maintain contact better than I could have hoped.

We're still not getting much sleep at night (far less for Rachel than for me), so that's starting to affect my alertness at work. Plus, I've been working on a particularly annoying science problem at work known as surface adsorption. Going into details would put both you and me into a boredom coma, so I'll just say that it's a pain, and it's been a difficult problem to diagnose. But, such is the world of bioanalytical chemistry. I'll be so happy to have a few days off next week.

You'd think that after a month of not posting that I would have something more interesting to say, but I don't. Things are moving along. Ethan turned 3 on May 21st, and we threw him a pretty cool Thomas the Train party. Erin is doing great, and is starting to smile and coo a lot more often. Still not sleeping more than about 3 hours at a time, but she seems healthy and happy. I was watching Ethan playing on the floor tonight, and I was just struck by what a great little boy he is. So full of energy and laughter, and SO smart. I love my family so much, and sometimes I can't believe that God has blessed me with these 3 wonderful people in my house.